Why Hatred Is Dumb

Hatred is dumb. And like it or not I`m going to go on a little rant as to why.. Now… let me start with the fact that I’d be a dirty liar if I told you I’ve never used the phrase “OMG I HATE HER”. I’d also be an even dirtier liar if I told you that I’ve never thrown up some middle fingers in spite to the sorry souls I “hated” at the time. But as I get older and accrue (yes I google dictionaried that word) the inevitable wisdom that comes with age.. I’ve realized some things about hatred..
Hatred… Really doesn’t do anything… Now I will acknowledge that there are varying levels of hatred and that certain kinds can be VERY VERY devastating… but the kind of hatred I`m talking about here is the petty kind. For the sake of painting a picture I`m going to name our victim Suzy.
Hating Suzy doesn’t really do much to you… or Suzy… It just makes for an awka-awkward run in at the local bar when you unexpectedly run into each other.
The one thing we’ve all got to realize is…As much as we’d all love to relish in the false reality that Suzy is a mean mean girl and everyone hates her equally as much as you do.. it’s just not true.… Suzy has friends and family that love her. This was the biggest revelation to me… When I finally got over myself enough to realize that these people that I was SO convinced were terrible beings had a group of people that loved them… how can you truly say you dislike them?.
YES… people are multi-faceted beings and YES different people bring out different beasts in us. But to judge someone SOLEY on their interaction with you isn’t a true indication of their character.
Think of it this way. That one time when you were drunk at the bar and you swear that girl over there gave you the side eye so retaliated by telling her she looked like the joker…Is that the true you? Is that the you that everyone in the world gets? NO! You had a bad day… or better yet a bad mixture of drinks . We wouldn’t want our bad qualities and moments to overshadow our good ones. So before you want to slander someone’s name, or use the strong words I HATE think about the intensity of that word.
HATRED is terrorism. HATRED is racism.. HATRED is violence. Don’t stoop yourself down to a level of evil to cater to pettiness.

Adulting…5 Things I’ve learned

1.)    Just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you have to act like one

  1. Now that I`m in the heavy half of my 20s I realize that there really isn’t much of a difference between my 22 year old friends, and my 32 year old friends. Sure overtime we become more established in our careers and our idea of “fun” may go from sharing our stories of vomiting in public places to lavish vacations and cocktail parties, but we are who we are regardless of age. It may be good to remind yourself this when looking for a mate….

2.)    You AREN’T entitled to everything you’ve ever wanted

  1. This was my first, and hardest adulting lesson to learn… I was a natural athlete who got to states without even really trying, so imagine my surprise when I entered the work world and realized I WASN’T going to get every job I applied to, and every promotion I was up for….It’s a tough pill to swallow but TRUST ME, the best thing you can do for yourself is to not expect anything from anyone without going above and beyond to prove yourself.

3.)    Kiss your ego goodbye

  1. This goes along with the latter topic but It applies to more than just work. You’re going to wake up one day and realize, whoa… how come you can actually tell I`ve been out all night, IS THAT A WRINKLE? Did I just gain 5lbs in ONE WEEKEND!? Omg that guy wasn’t waving to me… He was waving to the chick behind me that’s wearing those inappropriate shorts. Take care of yourself, but realize that your looks are going to fade, and what really matters is WHO YOU ARE.

4.)    People will hold you to “the timeline”

  1. I`m 26, I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we aren’t married AND I`m living with my mom. So I`m pretty much the epitome of non-traditional. Prepare yourself to hear all about how you need to get married and have babies, and how you choosing to stay home with your awesome mom and pretend you are the golden girls while saving much money as you possibly can makes you NOT an adult. “If you really love each other who cares if you’re financially stable?” “If you have a full time job why aren’t you living on your own?” “When are you having a baby, you don’t want to be an old mom” Mind you, I have NO problem with getting married and knocked up fresh out of college, you do you, but for the people like me who have other priorities PREPARE yourself to shake off the judgment.. This is YOUR path whip out your hater blockers and keep on keeping on.

5.)    Its Scary, but we all do it

  1. When I turned 24 I was a hop and a skip away from a mental breakdown. I fast forwarded my life in my mind all the way to the dreaded day that I realize that my boobs are now chilling down past my belly button. I thought about bills and my career and how I`m not in the same place as that made up Instagram account that shows 22 year olds driving $100,000 cars. I instantly found myself scared of what my life had in store… But THAT’S ADULTING PEOPLE. You learn to live on your own one step at a time and how to maneuver through life’s many curveballs. Maybe our stories aren’t all the same, but we all have to do it.

The bummer about routines… What REALLY matters people

Lately it seems like my 20s are slipping away. My life has gotten stuck in a never ending hamster wheel of habitual living. I wake up at 6:15 every M-F Work from 8-5 (sometimes later) and fill my evenings with a lousy workout attempt, and junk TV until my self-designated adulthood bedtime of 10:30…

 Now don’t get me wrong, I love my life, I do. But I can’t help but to think that in 40 years… I`m going to be looking back on my mid 20s and realize that most of these years has been THE SAME OLD SHIT. I’ve let my mind get so clouded by deadlines, bills, and routines, that I’ve forgotten what really matters in life.

Work is great, it gets us where we need to be in life. Bills… well those are important and thinking about them is necessary.. for must people… but we can’t let the necessities in life distract us from… well… life. We work so hard and become so consumed in our professional living that we stop putting work into actually LIVING. Living a life that is focused around being happy.

When I`m hungover every New Year’s Day… mostly regretting something like falling off of a barstool multiple times… I tend to want to reevaluate things.. I think about all the things I want to grow about myself in the next year. It always boils down to “I want to be the best me I can be”… but I let adulting become my excuse for really… not doing ANYTHING. Not putting work into myself, not putting work into the relationships that matter to me, and not doing anything that one considers LIVING.

I challenge everyone today to MENTALLY throw their work files, bills, and responsibilities into the shredder and do something for YOU.